Slaves

How it was nice,

First days of human rise.

Living a common life,

Sharing everything they have in their palms.

 

Helping one to another.

We were all hunting and gathering together,

Rather you believe nor you don’t.

But it was way better. 

 

The only thing this monster sees,

No mercy or no feelings.

First made an axe to cut trees,

Then cut your siblings in peace.

 

In the same way they built bridges,

Made some trades and got earnings,

After conquering other countries,

Put them in cages to make them slaves.

End

Today is the last day in Polland after days,

It was hard 'cos I had so much space.

Being alone on my own,

I sometimes felt like a clown.

 

It's not anyone's fault,

Also, not a thing to be proud.

Shit happens sometimes,

Only then we will rise.

 

I felt myself like Jesus Christ,

Left alone on the cross under sunlight.

Pain and suffering flooded in my veins,

There was only me.

Who could change.

 

I am happy that it is the end,

I am thankful for the things I gained.

The only thing I did was bend,

Now I realize it is a happy end.

Slave

I was angry with myself,

I talked for hours but it did not end.

Nothing left than suicide,

But I couldn't homicide.

The thicker shade, the more I brave,

Being afraid of my grave,

Because it is like a cave

I will be only a lonely slave.

Fear never brings peace,

And also ignorance is not a bliss

There are no emotions or feelings

'Cos mind only works in crises.

What do I get, just bad and bad?

Asking for help, no one cared.

Seeking for a piece of peace 

But I'm just alone in a place without any piece.

Everything is good, why are you in this mood?

Are you feeling depressed?

Because you are lonely...

Don't think you are the only,

Thousands suicide daily!

Don't be hard on yourself, 

Just be friendly.

I promise!

Those days will pass.

Like it passed in the past!

Take a deep breath,

You will be relaxed... 

Emotions

In a world full of emotions,

Impossible feelings in different situations.

My heart beats so fast, and my lungs breathe slowly.

The only thing left when you are alone is sorrow.

Missing is hard because It is the darkest thing,

Many are afraid of it, 

Positive emotions are the only thing,

Lighten our way, while we are inside of it.

Ignorance

 Why do people believe ignorance is bliss?

What do I miss?

How did society become with religion and myths?

Wherever I look, I see human-based beliefs.

When we will recognize, those fucked up systems?

Future in Relax Past

What do I get, just bad and bad?

Asking for help, no one cared.

Just alone in a place,

Seeking for a small piece of peace.

Everything is good.

Why are you in this mood?

What is wrong with you?

Are you feeling depressed because you are lonely?

Don't think you are the only

Thousands suicide daily

Don't be hard on yourself, be friendly.

Those days will pass.

Like it passed in the past!

Take a deep breath,

You will be relaxed...

 

Follow

Wherever I go, people follow,

Hundreds after me wherever I sit.

I see similar faces, I've seen before,

This situation makes me even crazier.

Everywhere is empty except from here.

Where I do try to be alive,

All seem happy with a smile,

Sometimes ask for help for their own desire.

Am I the only one in this one in this fucking crowd,

Why keep asking me and be proud?

Sorry, I don't have any custom or religion,

There is nothing to believe in like a pigeon!

Be human first! Your piece of shit,

How can you be careless, can't you see any hint?

Built and built some boxes to fit in it,

Then back the man in the box and get rotten you shit!

Spreading Roots

I felt I was cursed for so many years,

Every night my eyes were in tears.

All alone in my room

Always waited to bloom.

Whenever I bloomed with beauty,

There were someone cut it certainly.

That moment was bas as doom,

My flower was taken and left alone in the room.

I decied to travel and took out my roots.

Saw many places, met with new trees.

They were almost like the same,

Many of them were crying in tears.

And the brain was working in pain,

After years I've understood, there is nothing to gain

I decided to put my roots and let them spread in proud.

The Exhilarating Journey: Unveiling the Benefits of Hitchhiking

 

In a world dominated by fast-paced modes of transportation, the art of hitchhiking might seem like a relic of the past. However, beneath its unassuming surface lies an adventure waiting to be explored. Beyond the skepticism and misconceptions, hitchhiking offers a unique and exhilarating way to traverse the world. This article delves into the compelling benefits of traveling by hitchhiking, showcasing how this unconventional mode of transportation can foster personal growth, cultural exchange, and unforgettable memories.

 

Hitchhiking From Vienna to Prague, 2023

1. Unpredictable Adventures

Embarking on a hitchhiking journey introduces an element of spontaneity that traditional travel methods can't replicate. The unpredictability of your encounters with drivers and fellow travelers can lead to unforeseen detours, hidden gems, and memorable experiences. Each ride becomes a chapter in a novel that you're co-authoring with the road.

 

2. Cost-Efficiency

For budget-conscious travelers, hitchhiking is a godsend. With minimal or no transportation costs, the money saved on buses, trains, or flights can be redirected towards more meaningful aspects of your journey, such as immersing yourself in local culture or indulging in unique culinary experiences.

 

3. Cultural Exchange

One of the most rewarding aspects of hitchhiking is the opportunity it offers for authentic cultural exchange. Conversations with diverse drivers and fellow hitchhikers can provide insights into local customs, traditions, and ways of life that guidebooks often overlook. Through these interactions, you're not merely passing through a place; you're connecting with its people on a personal level.

 

4. Fostering Trust and Human Connections

In a world often characterized by skepticism and distrust, hitchhiking presents a refreshing change. Both hitchhikers and drivers need to rely on each other, cultivating a sense of trust that transcends societal barriers. The connections forged during these shared journeys can restore faith in humanity and remind us of the inherent goodness in people.

 

5. Environmental Considerations

As concerns about environmental sustainability rise, hitchhiking emerges as an eco-friendly alternative. By utilizing existing vehicles, you're contributing to fewer emissions and a smaller carbon footprint. In a small but impactful way, hitchhiking aligns with the global movement towards greener travel practices.

 

6. Enhanced Problem-Solving Skills

Navigating unfamiliar territories and adapting to varying circumstances sharpens your problem-solving skills. From deciphering road signs to finding your way in an unfamiliar town, hitchhiking demands resourcefulness and quick thinking. These skills are not only useful on the road but also in various aspects of life.

 

7. Overcoming Fear and Building Confidence

Hitchhiking isn't without its challenges, especially for those new to the experience. Overcoming initial fear and apprehension builds a resilient mindset and boosts self-confidence. As you conquer doubts and uncertainties, you become more self-assured and capable of tackling other life challenges.

 

8.  Embracing Minimalism

When hitchhiking, you're compelled to pack light and carry only essentials. This minimalist approach not only simplifies your travel experience but also sheds light on what truly matters in life. Letting go of material attachments can lead to a newfound appreciation for experiences over possessions.

 

9. Storytelling Goldmine

Hitchhiking journeys are rife with anecdotes and stories that can captivate listeners for hours. From the quirky drivers you meet to the unexpected places you visit, each hitchhiking adventure becomes a treasure trove of stories that can inspire, entertain, and connect people from different walks of life.

 

10. Self-Discovery and Reflection

The solitary moments during a hitchhiking journey provide ample opportunity for introspection and self-discovery. Removed from the distractions of everyday life, you can delve into your thoughts, aspirations, and dreams. The open road becomes a canvas on which you paint your personal growth.

 

Conclusion

Hitchhiking, often dismissed as risky or outdated, is far more than a means of transportation—it's an expedition into the heart of human connections, personal development, and cultural exploration. The benefits of traveling by hitchhiking are as diverse as the roads themselves. From the unexpected adventures to the deepened understanding of the world, this unconventional method of travel invites you to embrace the unknown, challenge your limits, and create memories that will last a lifetime. So, the next time you see a hitchhiker on the side of the road, consider the world of possibilities that await those who dare to hitch a ride into the unknown.

Break Your Brain Shell

When we perceive our boundaries as a shell, as our brain develops, we start to outgrow this shell. Our continuously evolving and changing thoughts eventually turn into chaos. Like a cluttered house that trips us up at every step or eliminates comfort, it creates an environment for us. If you are someone leading a normal life, you tend to develop obsessions more than troubles like these. However, those who cannot fit into their shell have one and only obsession: breaking that shell.

For a constantly investigating, reading, and questioning mind, this must be the greatest torment, because just when everything seems to be fine, a tiny crackling sound emerges from the mind. During the process of the shell's reconstruction, they will be defenseless, and the paranoia that comes with it must get more excruciating each time. The bigger you are, the more defenseless you are, and the more fragile. We can illustrate this as follows: imagine having a large glass bell jar; even if it falls to the ground, it might shatter, but if you were to throw a glass marble at the wall, it would only result in minor scratches at most.

Development is crucial, but the fear of that breaking or disappearing due to unplanned development can poison all progress. It leads to a decrease in efficiency, and everything beautiful can be ruined by an unhealthy mind. Maintaining mental health is, in fact, one of the most important concerns for us, who are living beings inside the shell.

As humans, we have always pursued the unknown, and it would be accurate to say that this pursuit is not confined to faith or science. Questioning the Creator and questioning the universe are, from my perspective, the same act. However, while one helps in preserving the mental health of society, the other poisons it day by day. In societies that have priorities, we can see that these kinds of problems are nearly non-existent, and even if they exist, there are treatments available. Hopefully, as humanity, we will eventually become a whole and free ourselves from this ailment to build a bright future.

AIESEC PROJECT IN TUNISIA PART-2

    

At the beginning of the project everything was good, I was meeting with new people from other countries and walking around the city. I was also improving my French. Many people were interested in me at there because I was Turkish. On their TV there were many Turkish Series with translation. It was strange for me because I hate watching them but people at there, they love it… Many girls found me attractive and some of them also ask me to get married with them. They were dancing around me and feeding me. I was like a king for some time!

I was trying to get used to this mixed Arabic French culture. They were acting like they are Arabic, but their living style was trying to be like French people. Their meals, houses even mosques were not theirs. Maybe it was because of the city I was staying in. It was the last city which French troops left. About the leaving in 1961 there was a small battle occurred between Tunisia and France, almost 600 Tunisians and 30 French troops were killed in the battle. For me it is so strange because even though they don’t like France they still speak French and use it in education!

We were generally spending time at marina, where all people go to drink coffee or tea. It is surrounded by old castle walls. Sometimes were going to swim and one of the best was going to Cape Angela. It is the northernmost point of African continent. It had a beautiful seaside, there were big rocks in the sea and after diving in the sea, it is possible to sea many different types of fish. Also, there is a monument where you can go and take pictures, it is on the top of a hill. It is almost 17 km from Bizerte, which means it is not that far.

About the bad things, I got infection from my foot. I had to stay at home for 2 weeks, and other people went to visit some places, but I couldn’t. I was staying downstairs, when they turned back house owner also came with them. They forgot to take thresh out so that smell spread everywhere. The owner who is uncle of our project leader started to say some bad words about Turkey suddenly. I was shocked and defended myself, but he got angrier. We started to shout each other (I used cursed Arabic words I learned at there) and he left the house. Days were passing so fast; weather was almost 45 degrees, and we were going to a village which is 1 hour by taxi bus. Imagine there is no air conditioner and just windows, car is full of people, and it is 45 degrees…

In the middle of the project, they moved us to another house which is so old and in bad condition that homeless people even wouldn’t want to live in. It was horrible, I was sleeping on the ground, there were even not enough plates for us to eat together. Even though everything I was trying to avoid bad stuff till I got sick. At the beginning I felt something bite me from my chest, a red spot appeared on the left of my chest. In several days those spots got more and more…

I started to search about it and my friends and everyone. We figured it out that it was zona. Every night I was feeling like I was dying, the zona I have was related to nerve system which bounds to brain directly. It speeded all around my shoulder and chest. I was begging for project leaders to help me to go to doctor, but they were saying that God will help me! After 1 week I finally went to see a doctor, but he didn’t know nothing, and I was all alone there. Meanwhile other project ended, and it was our time to move back to good house but guess what, they were allowing everyone expect from me! I was so angry again and had a breakdown, I was going to beat the uncle if the leader didn’t come to talk with me. (I am holding myself so hard to write in calm, those memories hurting me so much.)

At the end they let me to spend my last days at that house and I turned back to Turkey. There are many bad things happened during the project -they didn’t let the Chinese people make their visa to steal money from them, which I figured out and solve this problem and more problems- which I never imagined at the beginning-. After I turned back to Turkey, I thought I was healed and everything is fine, but it was just the beginning of the real disease to appear. My nerve system got so much damage during the Zona disease and the doctors said that I must had treatments for that because it was the highest level. At the end I lost my 2 years because of this disease and had to quit from FLT because I was fainting 3-4 times in a day and it took so long to recover.

 

 

 

 

AIESEC PROJECT IN TUNISIA PART-1

There was a project in Tunisia called “Foreign Language Teaching” when I was studying in French Language Teaching Department. In Turkey we just learn English and little bit German as foreign language in general and when I started to study in FLT, I didn’t even know how to say my name. Because of this situation I was obligated to go prep school (we learn the language here). At the end of the year, I was thinking about going to France to improve my language skills but one of my friends offered me a better choice. In Tunisia I was going to teach people English and in return I was going to learn French because Tunisian people were still talking in French in general. Also, it was cheaper then going to French. I accepted this offer and started to prepare my self for the journey.

I was so excited; in my opinion it was a huge opportunity for me. I bought my tickets and started to wait for my flight. When I got to airport in Istanbul, I started to text my teachers from high school, I was telling them I am so glad to have you as a teacher now I am going to be one in a foreign country. While I was on the phone there was no one in the lobby, I started to get stressed because it was going to be my first flight alone. Departure time came and still no one was there, then I got out from the lobby and started running… I heard my name and learned that they changed the lobby! I was so stressed, but I managed to get in the plane. After I found my seat, I put my headphones on and opened some song. (I cannot forget the moment the moment of the plane took off. I was listening Soundgarden – Beyond the Wheel. The song and plane were synchronised…)

Anyway, after I arrived in Tunisia, I met with the AIESEC team. They were holding a paper my name on it. They took me from the airport, and we went to the city where the project will be. The city name was Bizerte. It has a castle and walls in centre also it is close to the Mediterranean Sea. There were different nationalities but in general they were Arabic people. When we arrived at the place where our project team will stay, I learned there is another project running at the same time. I went there earlier so there was no one from my project. First week I spend time with other projects participants and had so much fun.

I was wasting time unaware of what was going to happen in the future. I was going to get infection from my foot, I was going to have a disease called Zona. Beside of those I was going to fight with people at there and stay in a different house. Also, even though I have insurance they were not going to take me to hospital and keep saying God will help me… In part 2 I will be writing about how those things happened and try to add something about the city and country.

 

HIGH SCHOOL JOURNEY PART-5

My last journey in High School was going to United Kingdom. It was my dream to go there because the sprit of those lands and stories were affecting me so much. Depressed weather conditions, careless faces, architecture… But this journey will be the same as my life, it will seem nice and then I feel the pain. Even though I had so much good time, I had many problems which let me to be depressed. (Actually, it was the thing I wanted. I am not complaining here) After we arrived to UK, first difference was the roads and cars. They were using right side instead of left side. It was my first cultural shock. When we got in a car, they asked us to put our seat belts on. I said what for I am sitting in back. They said here is not Turkey, everyone should put their seat belts, or we will stay here. I put my seat belt and we went to hotel that we will spend the days.

Our visa got accepted because we applied for a language course there. We went there 4 or 5 times in total and travelled around London all the time. First time I was in the language course I met with a girl in garden when she was crying. I learned that she is a friend of my classmate. We started talking and decided to meet at weekend. Days were passing so fast there; I was going out for night walks, watching people, and feeling the air. But it couldn’t last that long, I lost my phone in a museum (probably stolen) and for half of the journey I must stay without phone.

After losing my phone everything started to get worse. I almost have no photos from this journey. Everywhere we go I was waiting for people to take photos. But it turned out very good because it was the first time after years, I was not using any mobile device with me. When I was waiting for the people, I was walking and enjoying the moment. Because for me it was the first and last time, I see those places in my life in that age. It was a huge recognition for me in that time. I understood importance of the moment.

We were staying in Chelsea city which was my favourite team’s hometown. I was a huge fan of Lampard; he was the leader of the football team. I never imagined of going to their stadium. There was also a match at there but guess what… Since I didn’t have my phone, they didn’t let me go because I was under 18 and they were scared If I get lost or something happens to me. Also, this situation got worse, and they didn’t allow me to go out with the friends I met in language course.

After I turned back to Turkey there was a big problem in my mind. Since I couldn’t meet with the friends I had in UK, I couldn’t contact them from anywhere because I didn’t have phone. Biggest problem was I couldn’t remember the girl I met there. I just remember her friends name who was my classmate. I’d seen many dreams, she was saying “my name is ….” There was no voice in last part. I was getting crazy and found my classmate’s facebook account. I saw the photos of them together and asked her what her name is. She smiled and said “Are you stupid? Her name is labelled on the photo!” I was shocked, I didn’t want to ask her this because I was shy and knew there had to be a way to learn her name instead of asking my classmate. I opened the photo and clicked on the labels then I saw the name of her. Her name was “Julia” …

HIGH SCHOOL JOURNEY PART-4

 

Last year of my high school made me grow so much. I started to be a person who understands his responsibilities and effects of behaviours. I became a person who cares nothing. I was being lazy all the time, doing nothing. It was almost the same in the primary school time. I didn’t have almost any hope for future and wanted to be dead all the time. Two important things happened in this year, I joined a band called “ALBINO” and I went to UK.

I had another close friend in high school, his name is Yalcin. He was playing many instruments and he was very talented. He was the leader of Albino and he changed people in the band, but he was never satisfied. After some time, he found his drummer and singer but there was one position missing, bass guitarist! They called me to join them in the studio and when I arrived, they asked me to go and buy tobacco. When I turned back, they started to stare at me. One by one they said “you have the nose, you have the stupid humour, you have the soul to be a bass guitarist! Would you like to join our band?” I was shocked but felt so happy, I directly accepted the offer and started to play. I remember first time randomize song. I enjoyed it a lot…

After some time, we got an offer to perform in Zorlu PSM which is very famous place. The problem is we were just started and had nothing. In 2 months, we had to be ready for the concert! They started to write songs and do everything, but I couldn’t do anything. They were way ahead of me. I felt so bad those times tried to do something but all they do was having fun and making jokes on me. I felt insulted but at the same time having the best time in my life.

Concert was a big success and they asked us to come again to perform before the famous bands. We were so happy but there was a huge problem. All of us were going to join university exam and it was so important for all… Also, not only the exam but also feeling happy with the depressed songs we made was not right. It was opposite to our ideology and after we turned back, we couldn’t write any new song or did nothing. We suddenly stop talking and It was the end of Albino for us. (I still miss those days and use the name Albino in many games as a Guild name)

After almost one month I learned that there will be a trip to UK with a private group. I was so excited and wanted to join. Finally, something was not related to my high school. I got accepted and did every paperwork. For Turkey it is hard to get visa from UK as some other countries do. I was little bit anxious but nothing bad happened. I remember the first time I get in the bus at UK airport… Steering wheel of the car was on opposite side of the car! UK was going to be my lovely grunge country…

 

HIGH SCHOOL JOURNEY PART-3

Middle of my high school is the most exciting part of my teenage years. The person I’ve become dates back to those years, I guess. I was always arguing with people. I loved to act like stupid because I wanted to show them the other side of general people. There were basic topics for me which I could easily understand but didn’t prefer to do it. In general, those were about cultural walls that people don’t think about but obey.

In 3^rd year of high school, I was not a believer anymore. The society I was living in was generally included Muslim people. They were not Muslims for me, maybe just followers of Anatolian cultural costumed religion thing. For thousand years religions appeared in this region and people followed the rules. I wanted to break them so hard that I didn’t care about anything else.

That year was also the year when government announced that women can wear hijab at school. I was angry to this decision because it was just about Muslims, and they were using this to get more votes… We (men) were not allowed to have long hair, wear earrings or piercings but for everything were allowed. This situation triggered my anger more and more.

One day when I was waiting for the lesson to start, one of our head teachers came and told me to take out my bandanna from my head. I was not surprised but it was my time for to shine. I started argument with this sentence “My religion tells me to wear this, if hijab is allowed for Muslim girls I want the same privilege.” At the end I won, felt so relaxed and proud of myself. Following days there were more arguments like this with teachers and I was beating them one by one…

After some months it was time for the best Erasmus+ project in the school. I was this time hundred percentage sure I will go to other countries. I was joining the online meetings, making presentations about global warming. I was so happy till I learned I won’t be able to join any of them. This time I learned the truth. As I mentioned earlier, I reported some students to Ministry of Education. Because od this there were many problems occurred in the school, they started to investigate our school and our teachers had some trouble times… Our school manager was offended and stopped talking to me because of this but I didn’t know anything.

I went to him and tried to talk with him, but he was not even looking to my face! Then I made my move with religion argument again. (This one is my favourite) I told him that a “Muslim cannot stop speaking with another muslim more than 3 days! You’ve been not talking to me for months which I didn’t recognize…” He turned his face to me and started to apologize (funny). He promised me about the projects that I will go to Italy and Poland.

After I solved this problem, I turned back home happy and start waiting the day. One week later I had another hard argument with a teacher who was the wife of assistant director. She asked us to bring quiz book with us. I brought quiz papers and she refused and said I want book not papers -This woman also didn’t give me 0.5-point earlier term, so I had some troubles with the lesson after. And her husband was always disturbing me in the lessons like making jokes on me-.  I started to read book instead of solving my paper quiz. 

After some time she said why don’t u solve your quiz, I was so happy that she asked this question. I told her that I don’t have any quiz if I had u wouldn’t refuse. She started screaming and said meet me at the manager’s office after the lesson. I went to the office after the lesson, and I was so happy. She started to write something on the paper at the room while acting like she was innocent with tears in her eyes. I was laughing all the time and tried to cut her speech, but manager didn’t let me to do it. He said wait for your turn. I was fully sure she couldn’t do anything to me!

I waited for an hour for her speech to finish and started to talk. After 2 sentences manager stopped me and said we will meet you at board of discipline. I was shocked but expected this to happen and I stood up and said “I would love to talk there instead of talking in front of people who doesn’t do their job as professionals. You are just bored and searching for fun which I would love to be a part of. See you there!” I closed the door so hard that anyone could hear the sound in the school.

I don’t know if it’s about this situation, but they again didn’t let me to join the projects again. I got so angry and talked with the teachers I am good with. I told them everything and they said that this school doesn’t deserve those projects because of the manager and his assistances. They promised that they’re not going to do another project there ever again. I was depressed after those problems and started to smoke and drink alcohol, I didn’t feel well. I was feeling like I will never have a chance to go to another country again till I found another opportunity to go United Kingdom in 4^th year of high school…

HIGH SCHOOL JOURNEY PART-2

After turning back from Macedonia, I felt myself as an important person. Before that I only felt loneliness and sadness. But the people I met there improved me a lot. As I mentioned “The Huge Step” in my life at high school was going to happen in that summer. I decided to start studying Language Department in high school which will be the most important decision I’ve ever made.

Normally our school doesn’t provide this opportunity because there is not much request on this department. Ever year students got together and try their best to open this department. As you can guess they couldn’t, but we did. It was so difficult not at the beginning also in every year. We had 2 different classrooms; in general lessons we were in first classroom with other students and in special ones we were in second classroom.

The problem was about our language class had 11 students and almost all of them were marginal people. Whenever we join general lessons we had fights with other students about religions, ideas etc. I remember my fights with teachers…  (I will write another article about it.) Also, there were other students who were disturbing me all the time and teachers were doing nothing. In time I got angrier to school and to teachers and reported them to Ministry of Education. But there were no one coming and nothing happened (I was thinking like that in that time).

While those stupid things were happening there were also Erasmus+ projects which I could join. Me and my 4 friends applied for first project in Romania, we were all expecting to get approved and go to the project because we were in language department. After 3-4 days a student came and called 4 friends who applied to the project with me. I was little bit shocked but didn’t understand what’s going on that time.

After they turned back our teacher explained me the situation. There were 8 places for students, and they decide to send students who didn’t join any projects before. But the way they do is sending one new student with a one who’ve been in another project. Its hard to explain but they will go like couples. Anyway, then she added “in the next project you will go I promise.”

I was feeling terrible, destroyed, collapsed… After they turned back, I was listening to them and feeling terrible. I wanted to join that project so much but there was nothing I could do. I start waiting for the other one. I learned that in other project there were 5 or 6 countries we will have opportunity to visit. Which made me so much more excited. It improved my motivation a lot and I started to study more and more… 

HIGH SCHOOL JOURNEY PART-1

My high school was the second-best school in our town. In 6^th, 7^th and 8^th grade we were joining exams at the end of each year. With the grades we were applying for high school. In the school I got accepted, I was in the middle of list. I wanted to go the first one, but my primary school was failure, so I ended up with this one. School was a mixture of everything. It was possible to find every type of people. Lessons were so different; topics were more interesting for me.

At the first year I made a huge step in my life. Normally I was a math student, which means I was going to select a department related to math. But at the end of the year, I had a chance to visit Macedonia with my school. After Macedonia, the path that I was walking in give me another chance to change the way, I loved different paths all my life and said to myself why not?

Our school had a sibling school in Macedonia. Every year we visit each other. Students stay in host families and go somewhere with teachers. It was my first experience being outside of my country. I was not expecting that I would love it that much. We used bus as vehicle to go to Macedonia. We passed through Bulgaria first. I still remember the first time I saw St. Alexander Nevsky Cathedral in Sofia. It was my first-time meeting with Christianity and church idea. Seeing pictures on the wall and burning candles.

After Bulgaria we moved to Macedonia. There is a city called Vinica, we stayed there for 10 days. It was the first time I was obligated to speak English. I never felt this feeling before that moment. I was at home and trying to communicate with my host family. It took me 3-4 days to start talking easily, but it was not enough for me. I started to learn Macedonian… It was so strange I was able to almost understand general things people were talking about. I felt like I discovered my secret skill. I directly started learning and tried to join all conversations.

I also almost had a girlfriend there. I didn’t want it but I was so popular and I had to pick someone. On the way back we visited Greece. I felt almost the same as I felt in Turkey. Culture and people almost everything was the same. Also, there was an important thing, someone tried to steal our passports. Luckly our teacher understood the plan, and nothing happened.

I am not sure if we visited Bulgaria first then turn back Turkey on Greece, but important part of this article is the events I had. In the first day at Macedonia, the girl which I later pick to be my girlfriend asked me to meet with her friends. That day I was the only person in our school group that met with almost 30 new people. I was so proud of myself…

 

LIFE BEFORE HIGH SCHOOL

 

My life before high school was seemed so simple. A student which goes to school at morning then turns back and goes to cram school. I just had small time for myself and wanted to spend it by playing games. It was my only way to have some fun. Also, the friends I had was not interested in spending time with me. I started playing basketball and joined a team, but it didn’t last long. They decided to close the team because we were losing in every match.

Those years I struggled in my social life because of mental issues. My brain was working so much different than ever before, I was not able to catch up with new events or couldn’t follow any path for long. I was jumping from one tree to other. Because of this situation I was not able to be successful in my exams and school life. My teachers and parents were angry to me because I was not doing my best.

I remember two special days; First one is a football match between districts. I gave my ball for the match, but they didn’t let me to play. In the match one guy kicked the ball out of the field and a car passed over the ball, so that my ball exploded. That moment it was not only my ball was exploded, also my brain exploded in the same way with my ball. I was so pissed of that I stopped going out for years…

Second one is how I started playing Metin2. While staying at home, I started playing a game called Metin2. It was hard for me because I didn’t have internet connection for years and even though I got connection it was limited. So, I needed to find the game from another computer and put it in mine. There was a birthday of one of my friends and as a gift one of my friend gave him the game from his flash disk with the hack of the game. I asked him to give it to me also, but he refused. Then I went home then downloaded game and couldn’t use internet for some weeks just for this game. But it was worth it I remembered the first time I entered the game…

Last important point of my life before high school is; I met with a guy called Mete. I didn’t know that he will be my close friend in the future. We became good friends and studied together. He tricked me about a game called metin2. He said that his cousin is the most powerful player in the game and told me to wait for him in the village. I didn’t know that he was lying, I found out he was lying after years. Anyways, I spend my years before high school like this.

My Earliest Memories

 

My earliest memory was spending my hours in a lactation room. I was so alone and bored that I tied my blanked on the edges of the bed and start swinging on it. All my friends were sleeping together but I was alone there and waiting for hours to pass… I didn’t know I will be alone as much I was in my childhood, but my faith was the same for my teenage years.

I was never accepted to any group. The problem is, they didn’t want me to involve in anything but also didn’t want me to leave. I had to play the middle not only in the relationships with my friends but almost with everyone, every time. I am so glad that life pushed me to live the middle, because now I can get adapted to many situations easily. I am a person everyone needs in their group. Everyone lives what they deserve.

My parents were working in a factory, they didn’t have so much time to look after me. In this situation my aunt stepped in. She lived with us 12 years and took care of me. I remember my first long travel was with her to Didim in Turkey. I fall asleep in the pool, and they thought I was dead. When my aunt found me, people didn’t believe it was my real aunt and they waited me to wake up from my sleep. Also, I remember foreign people were the ones who rescued me, it was the first time I met with them. There were people who doesn’t speak my language. It was a big shock for me.

My next destination was Kusadasi in Turkey. This was my destiny travel because everything started in that place. First time swimming without any help. First time feeling as a person, start to feel the life. First time feeling the nature with mountains, lakes, and valleys. The most important first time was being in an ancient city for the first time. It was Ephesus Ancient city. I was amazed, paralyzed with the structures, history, and everything. I remember a tomb there, and whenever I go, I visit that tomb and remember my first time…

After this journey, I started to primary school and didn’t travel out of the city for a travel for a long time. I spend my years with computer games and friends. I have no regret, but I sometimes feel sad when I turn and look back. I am who I am with my past, so it was a must for me to live it. Why I feel sad is I could realize many things earlier, but I didn’t want to. But at the end, here I am with many stories waiting for me to share.

How Everything Started

Everyone has something to believe and dream about it. We follow different paths and live differently but at the same time we are bound to each other. My dream was travelling all my entire life. Since my childhood, I wanted to see the world and try to understand what is going on with world order. 

People love to ask this question “Who knows more? Traveller or reader?” I was not a good reader but as far I can say about my self is I am a good traveller. After years I understand that not only travelling is helping me to improve my knowledge also reading supports it. There is no need to discover what was discovered earlier. Just take what you need and add something on it.

I wasn’t born in a rich or educated family. I had to dig to reach somewhere all the time. Maybe my family wasn’t enough for me, but they did their best. I remember, my friends were just going out and spending their days while I was in trouble in another country. I was not and I am not afraid of troubles. If there is a problem, there must be a solution. Only thing we need to do is, focus on the solution not to the problem.

In this blog I want to share what I saw and what I learned through my journeys. Maybe for some, it is nothing. But it is not only for others, at the same time this blog is for me. It is a diary in my life. When I want to look back, I want to remember the things I saw and try to tell others easily. Life moves as we move, we generally don’t know which way is true.